Banta was carrying a large fish in a bucket of water away from a lake, which was well known for its excellent fishing. When a Fishery officer stopped him -

The officer says : “Do you have a fishing license?”
Banta replies : “Don’t need a license, this is my pet fish.”

“Pet fish?” – the officer asked.
Banta answers: “Yes, every night I take my fish down to the lake and let him swim around for a while, then I whistle and he jumps up on shore and I put him in his bucket and we go back home.”

Officer Replies : “That’s a bunch of baloney, fish can’t do that.”
Banta looks at the officer and says : “You want me to show you?”

Very curious now, the officer says: “OK. I’ve got to see this”
Banta pours the fish into the lake then stands there waiting.

After a few minutes, the officer turns to Banta and says, “Well?”
“Well, What?” Banta says.

The Officer asks, “Are you going to call your fish back?”
“Fish! What fish?” – Banta responds.

A cop pulls over a guy.

“Your eyes are awfully red. Have you been drinking?”

” Gee, officer,” the man says. “Your eyes are awfully glazed — have you been eating doughnuts?”

Police was investigating the mysterious death of a prominent businessman who had jumped from a window of his 9th-story office.

Nancy, his voluptuous private secretary could offer no explanation for the action but said that her boss had been acting peculiarly ever since she started working for him, a month ago.

“After my very first week on the job,” Nancy said, “I received a raise. At the end of the second week he called me into his private office, gave me a lovely black nightie, five pairs of nylon stockings and said, ‘These are for a beautiful efficient secretary.’

“At the end of the third week he gave me a fabulous mink stole. Then, this afternoon, he called me into his private office again, presented me with this fabulous diamond bracelet and asked me if I could consider making love to him and what it would cost.”

“I told him that I would, and because he had been so nice to me, he could have it for just 500 bucks, although I was charging all the other guys in the office one thousand. That’s when he jumped out the window.”

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driving license?

Driver: I don’t have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner’s card for this vehicle?

Driver: It’s not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?

Driver: That’s right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner’s card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There’s a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes sir. That’s where I put it after I shot the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There’s a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?

Driver: Yes, sir.

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replies in a huff, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!”

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys could get your act together.

Just yesterday one of you takes away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you?”

One day, the phone rang, and a little boy answered.

“May I speak to your parents?”
“They are busy.”
“Oh. is anybody else there?”
“The police.”
“Can I speak to them?”
“They are busy.”
“Oh. is anybody else there?”
“The firemen.”
“Can I speak to them?”
“They are busy.”

“So let me get this straight — your parents, the police, and the firemen are there, but they are all busy? What are they doing?”

“Lookin for me.”

A police man stops a lady and asks for her licence. He says,
“Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses.”
The Women answered, I have contacts.”
The police man replied, “I don’t care whom you know! I am still giving you challan(Fine ticket)!”

Husband: My wife is missing.
Postmaster: This is post office not police station..
Husband: Oh sorry!! i am so happy that i do not know where to go !!

Life Without Girls:
The result
Markets silent
Streets empty
The police at rest
All mobile companies in loss
No SMS
No Flowers
No Valentine
No Candles
No Perfumes
All the men directed to Heaven