Officer : What Is Your Name?
Candidate : M P Sir

Officer : Tell me Properly
Candidate : Mohan Pal Sir

Officer : Your Fathers Name?
Candidate : M P Sir

Officer : What does that mean?
Candidate : Manmohan Pal Sir.

Officer : What is your qualification?
Candidate : M P Sir.

Officer : (angrily) What is it?
Candidate : Matric Pass.

Officer : Why do you need a job?
Candidate : M P Sir.

Officer : And what does that mean?
Candidate : Money Problem Sir.

Officer : This discussion nowhere, you may go now.
Candidate : M P Sir.

Officer : What is it now?
Candidate : My Performance?

Salesman calling up prospective client: :  “Is the boss in?”
New office assistant: “Are you a salesman, bill collector or a friend of his?”

Salesman, thinking quickly:  All Three
Office boy, smelling the ploy: In that case -

He’s in a business conference.

He’s out of town.

Step in and see him.

10% of the women had sex within the first hour of their first date.
20% of the men had sex in a non-traditional place.
36% of the women favor nudity.
45% of the women prefer dark men with blue eyes.
46% of the women experienced anal sex.
70% of the women prefer sex in the morning.
80% of the men have never experienced homosexual relations.
90% of the women would like to have sex in the forest.
99% of the women have never experienced sex in the office.

Conclusion:

Statistically speaking, you have a better chance of having anal sex in the morning with a strange woman in the forest than to have sex in the office at the end of the day.

Moral:

Do not stay late in the office. Nothing good will ever come of it!

Sarah the sexy secretary walked into her boss’s office and said, ” I’m afraid I have got some bad news for you.”
“Sarah honey, why do you always have to give me bad news?” he complained. ” Tell me some good news for once.”
“Alright, here’s some good news,” said the secretary. ” You aren’t sterile…..”

Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about you?
.
.
Banta: Me too, after you leave.

A man walked into a lawyer’s office and inquired about the lawyer’s rates…

Lawyer:  $50 for three questions.

Man:  Isn’t that kinda steep?

Lawyer:  Yes! What’s your third question?

A young accountant stayed late at the office day after day. Finally, the boss called him in and asked for an explanation.

“Well, you see sir,” he stammered, ” My wife works, too — and if I get home before she does, I have to cook the dinner.”

The two partners from a small law firm were having lunch. Suddenly one of them looked alarmed.

He announced, “I have to go back to the office right away. I forgot to lock the safe.”

“What are you worried about?” asked the other. ” We are both here.”

Muffin Snuffler, the White House cleaner, is polishing the floor in the Oval Office one day, when he looks up at George Washington’s portrait and sees the lips moving.

Shocked and a little frightened, Muffin edges closer to the portrait and listens to America’s hero speak.

“Bring me a horse!” commands Washington. “I am going to put this country in order!”

Muffin races out of the office and bumps  straight into President George Bush. “Mr President, sir,” he screams, “George Washington’s portrait just spoke to me!”

“Don’t be an idiot! ” snaps Bush. “Pictures don’t talk!” And he walks into
the Oval Office and over to the painting.

But before he reaches it, George Washington speaks again, ” Hey, Muffin!” shouts Washington, “I told you to bring me a horse — not a donkey! “

Dick Cheney walks into the Oval Office and sees The President whooping and hollering.

” What’s the matter, Mr. President?” – The Vice President inquired.

“Nothing at all, boss. I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time.” The President beamed.

“How long did it take you?” – The Vice President inquired.

“Well, the box said ’3 to 5 Years’ but I did it in a month!” – replied the president.