A large woman put on a dress and asked her husband if the dress made her look different.

Her husband said, ” You’re asking the wrong person, I saw you before you put it on.

Wife: Where have you been for the last two hours?

Husband: I Met Molla Nasiruddin in front of the post office and made the mistake of asking him how he was feeling.

Husband: My wife is missing.
Postmaster: This is post office not police station..

Husband: Oh sorry! I am so happy that i don’t know where to go .

A young accountant stayed late at the office day after day. Finally, the boss called him in and asked for an explanation.

“Well, you see sir,” he stammered, ” My wife works, too — and if I get home before she does, I have to cook the dinner.”

Doctor: Will the father be present during the delivery?
.

.
.

.

Mother-to-be: Nah, he and my husband don’t get along!

A boy came running to the kitchen.

Boy: Dad, there is an ugly monster at the door.

Dad (Looking at his wife): Tell him we have already got one.

Wife :  Honey …… What are You Looking for ?

Husband :  Nothing.

Wife : Nothing … ?  You have been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.

Husband : I was just looking for the expiry date.

Wife & Husband returned from…
Wife & Husband returned from HONEY MOON after a week.
Husband: How did u enjoy the whole week?
Wife: The whole week has made my Hole weak.

A Gujju husband & his wife were talking.

Harassed Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it. So I bought 3 movie tickets.

Wife: Why three?

Annoyed Husband: For you and your parents.

Husband & wife are like liver and kidney.

Husband is liver & wife kidney.
If liver fails, kidney fails.

If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney.