Public service announcements around the world.

USA: “It’s ten o’clock. Do you know where your children are?”

Italy: “It’s ten o’clock. Do you know where your husband is?”

France: “It’s ten o’clock. Do you know where your wife is?”

Poland: “It’s ten o’clock. Do you know what time it is?”

The following are items found overseas in which people have made inappropriate use of English words for various products, and bizarre menu items in restaurants.

Cold shredded children and sea blubber in spicy sauce – China

Indonesian Nazi Goreng – Hong Kong

Muscles Of Marines/Lobster Thermos – Cairo

French fried ships – Cairo

Garlic Coffee – Europe

Sole Bonne Femme (Fish Landlady style) – Europe

Boiled Frogfish – Europe

Sweat from the trolley – Europe

Dreaded veal cutlet with potatoes in cream – China

Rainbow Trout, Fillet Streak, Popotoes, Chocolate Mouse – Hong Kong

Roasted duck let loose – Poland

Beef rashers beaten up in the country peoples fashion – Poland

Fried friendship – Nepal

Strawberry crap – Japan

Pork with fresh garbage – Vietnam

Toes with butter and jam – Bali

French Creeps – L.A.

Fried fishermen – Japan

Teppan Yaki – Before Your Cooked Right Eyes – Japan

Pepelea’s Meat Balls – Romania

Product Names

Clean Finger Nail – Chinese tissues

Kolic – Japanese mineral water

Creap Creamy Powder – Japanese Coffee Creamer

Swine – Chinese chocolates

Libido – Chinese soda

Pocari Sweat – Japanese sport drink

Shocking – Japanese chewing gum

Cat Wetty – Japanese moistened hand towels

Pipi – Yugoslavian orangeade

Polio – Czechoslovakian laundry detergent

Crundy – Japanese gourmet candy

Superglans – Netherlands car wax

I’m Dripper – Japanese instant coffee

Zit – Greek soft drink

Colon Plus – Spanish detergent

Below are fine examples of what happens when marketing translations fail to reach a foreign country in an understandable way.

Coors put its slogan, “Turn it loose,” into Spanish, where it was read as “Suffer from diarrhea.”

Clairol introduced the “Mist Stick,” a curling iron, into German only to find out that “mist” is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the “manure stick”.

Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: Nothing sucks like an Electrolux.

The American slogan for Salem cigarettes, “Salem-Feeling Free”, was translated into the Japanese market as “When smoking Salem, you will feel so refreshed that your mind seems to be free and empty.”

When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the US, with the beautiful baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the label of what’s inside, since most people can’t read English.

An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope’s visit. Instead of “I saw the Pope” (el Papa), the shirts read “I saw the potato” (la papa).

In Italy, a campaign for Schweppes Tonic Water translated the name into “Schweppes Toilet Water.”

Pepsi’s “Come alive with the Pepsi Generation” translated into “Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave,” in Chinese.

When Parker Pen marketed a ballpoint pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to say “It won’t leak in your pocket and embarrass you.” However, the company mistakenly thought the spanish word “embarazar” meant embarrass. Instead the ads said that “It wont leak in your pocket and make you pregnant.”

The name Coca-Cola in China was first rendered as Ke-kou-ke-la. Unfortunately, the Coke company did not discover until after thousands of signs had been printed that the phrase means “bite the wax tadpole” or “female horse stuffed with wax” depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 Chinese characters and found a close phonetic equivalent, “ko-kou-ko-le,” which can be loosely translated as “happiness in the mouth.”

Also in Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan “finger-lickin’ good” came out as “eat your fingers off.”

When General Motors introduced the Chevy Nova in South America, it was apparently unaware that “no va” means “it won’t go.” After the company figured out why it wasn’t selling any cars, it renamed the car in its Spanish markets to the Caribe.

Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious porno magazine.

These are supposedly actual classified ads that have appeared in various papers across the world.

FOR SALE: LEE MAJORS (6 MILLION DOLLAR MAN) – $50

NORDIC TRACK $300 – HARDLY USED – CALL CHUBBIE at:

BILL’S SEPTIC CLEANING – “WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS”

SHAKESPEARE’S PIZZA – FREE CHOPSTICKS

HUMMELS – LARGEST SELECTION EVER – “IF IT’S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!”

PRESIDENT’S CHOICE – COW MANURE – 2 33lb bags – $5

HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB

GEORGIA PEACHES – CALIFORNIA GROWN – 89 cents lb.

NICE PARACHUTE – NEVER OPENED – USED ONCE – SLIGHTLY STAINED

These are fabricated corporate slogans that would never have made if far if they entered the real world.

Microsoft: “How much are you going to pay today?”

MTV: “Loud and easy to spell.”

Saks 5th Avenue: “You Could Shop Here if You’re Poor, But That Would be Stupid!”

Iguana: “The other green meat.”

Nike: “Just buy the shoes, you flabby spineless lump!”

Daisy Air Rifles: “Keeping kids off your lawn for over forty years.”

Canon Photocopiers: “Quit calling them Xeroxes!”

Apple MacIntosh: “Hey, we thought of it first!”

Radio Shack: “You’ve got questions, we’ve got geek losers!”

Professional Bowling on NBC: “Oh, why don’t you just go ahead and kill yourself instead?”

Here are a few genuine news bloopers gleaned from American newspapers. These were taken from an article by Richard Lederer, author of “Anguished English”.

On behalf of Barbara Rutledge and her family, our sincere thanks go out to those sending flowers, cards and contributing to the death of her husband.

The airplane was only a few feet from the ground when it crashed, witnesses said.

With the exception of victimless crimes (which need not concern us here), every single crime committed in this nation of ours involves a victim.

A purple lady’s bicycle was missing from Serendipity Lane recently.

Chairman Billings asked Board members to muster support from parent-teacher groups to support the governor’s task force on driving while intoxicated.

He hasn’t even had his day in court yet, but Simon Wynne has been kicked off the ESU basketball team after being arrested and accused of driving a parked car while intoxicated.

Montreal police don’t hesitate to use whatever laws, regulations or persuasion they feel they need to control morality in the city and prevent it from getting a foothold.

A college friendship that began a year ago ended in matrimony yesterday

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.

Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years

Cancer Society Honors Marlboro Man

Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe Out Literacy

Autos Killing 110 a Day–Let’s Resolve to Do Better

20-Year Friendship Ends at Altar

War Dims Hope For Peace

If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last A While

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Half of U.S. High Schools Require Some Study for Graduation

Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad She Hasn’t Seen in Years

These are supposedly actual classified ads that have appeared in various papers across the world.

SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE…ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.

2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES, 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15

TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH IT’S OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800

TICKLE ME ELMO. NEW IN BOX. HARDLY TICKLED. $700

VALENTINES DAY SALE: TY-D-BOL BLUE TOSS-INS

STAR WARS JOB OF THE HUT — $15

DO SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR YOUR VALENTINE – HAVE YOUR SEPTIC TANK PUMPED.

FULL SIZED MATTRESS. 20 YR WARRANTY. LIKE NEW. SLIGHT URINE SMELL.

FREE 1 CAN OF PORK & BEANS WITH PURCHASE OF 3 BR 2 BTH HOME.

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.

Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped

Henshaw Offers Rare Opportunity to Goose Hunters

Women’s Movement Called More Broad-Based

Antique Stripper to Display Wares at Store

Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal Advice

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

Fund Set Up for Beating Victim’s Kin