A man, down on his luck, went into a church which catered to the “uppity”. Spotting the man’s dirty clothes a deacon, worried about the churches image, went to the man and asked him if he needed help. The man said, “I was praying and the Lord told me to come to this church.”

The deacon suggested that the man go pray some more and possibly he might get a different answer. The next Sunday the man returned. The deacon asked, “Did you get a different answer?”

The man replied, “Yes I did. I told the Lord that they do not want me in that church and the Lord said, ‘Do not worry about it son; I have been trying to get into that church for years and have not made it yet.”

Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a long trial, the jury aquitted him. Later that day Carlson came back to the judge who had presided at the hearing.

“Your honor,” he said, “I wanna get out a warrant for my dirty lawyer.”

“Why?” asked the judge. “He won your aquittal. Why do you want to arrest him?”

“Well, your honor,” replied Carlson, “I did not have the money to pay his fee, so he went and took the car I stole.”

“Honey,” said this husband to his wife, “I invited a friend home for supper.”

“What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven’t been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal!”

“I know all that.”

“Then why did you invite a friend for supper?”

“Because the poor fool is thinking about getting married.”

Two college guys were talking..
I heard their conversation.
They said: when the apple is green, it is ready to pluck..
and when the girl is eighteen, she is ready to ……….
Vote,,
You dirty mind, elections are near..so think positive.

Once a husband and wife quarreled.
They went for an drive and suddenly a dirty, worst and bad animal come infront of their car.
Husband in anger said: Are those your relatives?
Wife replied: Yes, my in-laws.!!!

Short jokes on two lovers on movie…
Two lovers went to watch a movie..
A mosquito entered in the girl’s skirt,,,
Guess where it bit???
You Naughty mind,,, always think dirty..
It bit on…
…The boy’s Hand.!!!!

Cheap attitude of girls.
When a boy sends dirty sms.
She laughs for 10 minutes.
Forward that sms to her friends.
Then replies the boy
“I dont like these kind of sms ok”

TEACHER : Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS : Well, I am a lot closer to the ground than you are.

Student 1: Do you want to hear a dirty joke?
Student 2: OK..
Student 1: A sort white horse fell in the mud.

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it is sexual harassment.
When a woman talks dirty to a man, it is $2.95 a minute………….