A good thing about vodka is it looks like water

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and one good thing about colleges is

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water bottles are allowed

Two college boys:

First asked: What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the same time ?
Second replied: It is when your Girl Friend says “You are the BEST KISSER among all your Friends in college.”

what is the biggest benifit of keeping a girl friend or a boy friend in the same college or class where you study ?
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think
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100% attendance.

College Boy: My Father’s name is laughing and my mother name is smiling.
Girl: You must be kidding…
College boy: No, that is my brother I am joking…

An E.N.T. Professor retired from college. In the farewell college faculty
gifted him a silver ear.
Thanking the faculty the professor said: “Thank god I am not a gynecologist.”

College teacher: What is the capital of Texas?
Blonde: T

Edward Russell started a college.

All students were confused while taking admission because name of college is

“Russell’s Medical College of Engineering for Commerce”.

College Boy: My Father’s name is laughing and my mother name is smiling.

Girl: You must be kidding…

College boy:  No, that’s my brother I am Joking…

Vova brought home his grade book. Vova’s father looked at it and said, “I see you misbehaved. For example, it says here that you smoked in class.””You call it smoke? I just found a cigarette butt and only could inhale two times.””Maybe. But here it says you came to the school drunk.””You call it drunk? I only found in garbage a bottle with a few drops of vodka…””Maybe. But here it says you tried to rape an old cleaning woman.””Try! But I did not do it after all.””I see you need a lesson.”Next day the father took Vova to his office. He showed him to a deep leather chair, and when Vova took the seat, the father offered him a cigar. Vova puffed, and the father poured for Vova a glass of French brandy. As Vova drank, his father opened the door and pointed at his young and pretty secretary.”How do you like it, Vova?””Very much, father.””So, to smoke good cigars, and to drink good brandy, and to have a young and pretty secretary, one has to study, to study, and once again to study!”

After the college boy delivered the pizza to Bud’s trailer house, Bud asked, “What is the usual tip?”

“Well,” replied the youth, “this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I’ll be doing great.”

“Is that so?” snorted Bud. “Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here’s five dollars.”

“Thanks,” replied the youth, “I’ll put this in my school fund.”

“What are you studying?” asked Bud.

The lad smiled and said, “Applied psychology.”