A clean beer mug
Two friends order beer in a bar. One of them adds:
- Make sure the mug is clean!
In a minute the waiter brings two beer mugs and asks:
- Which of you ordered beer in a clean mug?

Once in a bar, one guy said to another..
“I slept with your mom last night.”
after that whole bar was waiting another guy’s response.

After a while… he laughs and says shortly: Let’s go home, Father, you are drunk….

There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror.

If you told a lie it would suck you in.

One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said ‘I think I am the most beautiful woman in the world’ and it sucked her in.

The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said ‘I think I’m the most beautiful woman in the world’ and it sucked her in.

Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said ‘I think…’ and it sucked her in.

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he does not know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

Sanjay loves to drink at the local bar, but his wife disapproves of this. One night, he is at the bar and he gets extremely drunk. He tries to stand up, but immedeatly falls to the floor. He tries this a few more times, but each time he falls to the floor. People offered to help him, but he said no each time. He finally ended up dragging himself home and sneaking into bed, thinking his wife would never catch him.

The next morning, sanjay’s wife says, “sanjay, you son of a bitch! You were at the bar last night drinking again!”

sanjay was confused. “How did you find out?”

“The bar called. You left your wheelchair there.”

Why did the blonde get on the roof of the bar??

She heard drinks were on the house.

A snail walks into a bar and the barman tells him there is a strict policy about having snails in the bar and so kicks him out. A year later the same snail re-enters the bar and asks the barman “What did you do that for?”

A skeleton walks into a bar and says,”Give me a drink and rag.”

What is the difference between a bar and a clitoris?

Most men have no trouble finding a bar.

At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens. “It opens at noon,” answers the clerk. About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even drunker. “What time does the bar open?” he asks. “Same time as before… Noon.” replies the clerk. Another hour passes and he calls again, plastered “When joo shay the bar opins at?” The clerk then answers, “It opens at noon, but if you can’t wait, I can have room service send something up to you.” “No… I don’t wanna git in… Ah wanna git OUT!!!”