A bloke walks into a bar and orders 10 double whiskeys and downs them in one.
Barman: What’s up?
Bloke: My youngest son just told me he’s gay.
Next day he goes in and orders 15 double whiskeys.
Barman: What’s up now?
Bloke: Just found out my oldest son is gay!
Next day he goes in and orders 20 double whiskeys.
Barman: Fuck me! Does no one in your family like pussies?
Bloke: Yes – my wife!
Hunters and Women.
Why do women love Hunters the best as lovers?
1. Hunters have the longest and most powerful rifles.
2. Hunters always …… shoot twice.
3. Hunters love to …… eat what they shoot.
A little boy asks his mom : Is it bad to have a pen-is?
Mom replies: No, why do you ask?
.
.
Boy says : Cause dad is sweating like mad in the bathroom trying to pull his off.
A doctor had just finished a marathon sex session with one of his patients. He was resting afterwards and was feeling a bit guilty because he thought it wasn’t really ethical to screw one of his patients.
However, a little voice in his head said Lots of other doctors have sex with their patients, … so it’s not like you’re the first .
This made the doctor feel a little bit better until still another voice in his head said, but then again … they probably weren’t Veterinarians .
An EGYPTIAN girl asked a ROMAN boy -
what can you do for me?
The boy replied - come behind the PYRAMID, I will make you MUMMY.
Boy: Kiss karun?
Girl: Lipstick kharab hogi.
Boy: Boobs daba doon?
Girl: T-Shirt kharab hogi.
Boy: F**k?
Girl: Menses mein hoon.
.
.
Boy: Now don’t say you have loose motions!
A wife decides that she needs to spice up her and her husband’s sex life. So, she goes to the adult novelty store and came back with some crotchless panties.
She goes home, puts them on and waits for her husband to come home. When he does, she lifts up her dress and shows him her new panties, asking, “You want some of this?”
“Hell no,” says the husband, “look what it did to your underwear!”
This is a humorous “fake” news items which many adult ESL/EFL students may understand.
REDMOND, WA (API) — MICROSOFT (MSFT) announced today that
the official release date for the new operating system.
This is an adult jokes…..
If you are under the age of 18, please do not read this Jokes..
Elections are coming, please do vote..!!
Pinky goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, I have got a bit of a problem.
I’ll have to take my clothes off to show you.”
The doctor tells her to go behind the screen and disrobe. She does so, and the doctor goes round to see her when she is ready.
“Well, what is it?” he asks.
“It’s a bit embarrassing,” she replies. ” These two green circles have appeared on the inside of my thighs.”
The doctor examines her and finally admits he has no idea what the cause is. Then he suddenly asks, ” Is your boyfriend a Harley rider?”
The woman blushes and says, “Well, actually he is.”
” That’s the problem,” the doctor says. ” Tell him his earrings aren’t real gold.”
