I am beautiful, which tense is it?
A very old lady teacher of English
ask this question to the class:
When I say “I am beautiful”, which tense is it?
One pupil answered: It’s the past tense of course.
Clean Jokes: Do you know what 143 means?
143 means?
Do u want to know
what it means?
Press Down..
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It means …
ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY THREE.
Tomorrow I will teach you 144.
Because GHOSTS NEVER DIE
Flowers die,
Stories end.
Songs fade,
Memories are forgotten.
All things come to end,
But people like you are remembered forever.
Because GHOSTS NEVER DIE.
Sitting in a MENTAL HOSPITAL
One day you will be surprised to see me beside you.
You & Me laughing.
You & Me crying.
You & Me dreaming.
You & Me holding on.
Just You & Me sitting in a MENTAL HOSPITAL & Me Checking you.
A Billionaire
Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?
Millionaire: I owe everything to my wife.
Interviewer: Wow, she must be some woman.
Interviewer: What were you before you married her?
Millionaire: A Billionaire.
I wanna marry you
I always think about you.
I can’t live without you.
I really need you.
I’m totally mad about you.
I just wanna be with you.
I’m crazy for you.
I wanna marry you.
I LOVE you.
…. My neighbors say all this to me.
Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours
Question: What did the gangster’s son tell his dad
when he failed his examination?
Answer: Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours
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but I never told them anything.
The case was closed for lack of evidence
Several women appeared in court,
each accusing the other of the trouble in
the flat where they lived.
The judge called for orderly testimony.
“ I’ll hear the oldest first,” he decreed.
As a result no one want to come first.
So judge declared – “The case was closed for lack of evidence.”
St.Peter that his IQ was 95
Three hunters died on the same day and were sent to heaven.
When they got to heaven the were greeted by St. Peters and
he asked them what their IQ’s were so he could talk about things they liked.
So the first man said hi IQ was 150. St. Peter said “ that’s fantastic.
we can talk about the NASA program and advanced physic.”
The second man preceded in telling St.Peter that his IQ was 95.
St. Peter said “ that’s terrific, we can talk about engineering and architecture.”
St. Peter asked the third man what his IQ was. The man said “ 37″ .
St. Peter looked at him and said “well we can talk about… we can talk about…Did you get your deer?”
A man having abdominal stress in a restaurant
A guest in a restaurant was having abdominal stress and he would like to break wind.
He thought of farting in between the loud music
that was running when the drum beat kicks in.
The moment the bubbles start to come out of his bottom,
everybody in the restaurant was staring at him with
surprise and anger.
He realized that the covert music (sound track) he
was using was on the earphone he wore.
